Sometimes love is not enough. That’s hard to hear, but it is the truth. Relationships take work and communication. Another thing love takes is understanding. If you don’t understand your partner or they don’t understand you, all that will happen is arguing, bickering, and unhappiness. You’ll find yourself hurt more than happy. The honeymoon phase only lasts but so long.
You can’t have a meaningful relationship without understanding.
I have had many different types of relationships where we didn’t necessarily agree with each other. But sometimes you don’t have to admit, understand to come to an appropriate compromise or solution. As humans, we naturally want to be understood, and not understanding can make you feel ignored or neglected.
A lot of times you’ll find that arguing comes from lack of understanding, but sometimes there are other signs. Have you ever felt like your partner didn’t understand you? Have you ever wondered if lack of appreciation was a problem in your relationship? Here are some signs that can help you know for sure.
Signs That Your Partner Doesn’t Understand You, Even If They Love You
1. Reluctant to Talk About Problems
Your partner doesn’t like to talk about it when you have an issue with the relationship. Anyone who wants to understand you will not ignore how you feel about the relationship. Often time they don’t like talking about it because they don’t understand the way you think and to them, you aren’t going to have valid points to be upset. Or they are uncomfortable listening to you and how you feel because they don’t get you and they know that. Your partner could be immature, or you both could be that different from each other, that, to them understanding how you feel or why you’re upset seems impossible.
2. You Don’t Feel Like You Can Be Yourself
In past relationships, I had a hard time feeling like I could just be me. I am a very goofy and fun loving person, and a lot of times my ‘weird’ ways were lost upon the people I chose to try and build a relationship with. It was as if I always had to behave in the way that felt appropriate to the person I was dating.
When someone doesn’t understand you or the way you think they’ll have a hard time accepting certain things about your personality which will cause you to water yourself down.
A relationship where you can’t be yourself is more like a prison.
It doesn’t expect they don’t love you, but if they were raised on a specific type of behavior, then something different than that can make them feel uncomfortable because they don’t get it.
3. Your Partner Doesn’t Notice When They’ve Hurt You
Have you ever been with someone who said something that ultimately hurt your feelings? Or behaved in a way that made you feel neglected or ignored? Sometimes they don’t mean to do it, but what is more important is if they even notice that you’re hurt. When my boyfriend says something that hurt my feelings, he can tell just by my reaction. And sometimes don’t even have to see it, he would already know I didn’t like what he said.
Knowing something like that takes a certain level of the chemistry of how your mind works. If your partner can hurt you and then go on without knowing, he/she either doesn’t care or more likely even don’t understand that they’ve hurt you.
4. Your Partner Doesn’t Listen To You
Understanding your partner only happens from listening to them. If they don’t listen to you, they won’t understand you. If they are constantly interrupting you or staring at their phone when you’re talking to them, they won’t be able to retain information even to understand who you are and what you believe in. Some people are not good listeners, but this is something that can be worked on.
5. Your Partner Is Stubborn To Accept Others Perspective
When they do listen, they never seem to get it. Sometimes you can tell them things until you are blue in the face, but if they don’t grasp it, it’s useless. A lot of times it’s because they refuse to try and see things from your point of view and you end up feeling like you’re talking “through” them instead of “to” them.
Your partner might also have a hard time seeing it from your point of view as he/she is so stubborn in thinking by their own. In a way, they aren’t listening all that much just hearing what you’re saying enough to argue back and try and disprove your point.
6. Your Partner Makes You Feel Stupid
They try and make you feel stupid for how you think and feel. Nobody deserves to have their emotions minimized. If your partner doesn’t understand there is a good chance that when you come to them about something that’s bothering you, they’ll tell you something like it’s not a big deal. Or they will always be showing you how you’re overreacting. If that’s a common occurrence, they don’t understand you, and there’s a good chance they don’t respect you either.
7. Your Partner Doesn’t Try To Connect With Your Family
Some families are harder to get along with than others, but if they don’t even try to bond with the people that you grew up with and that are a part of you, how are they ever going to understand you? Your family represents your childhood, and your childhood helped build who you are today. If they can’t find a way to connect with ONE member of your family. How are they ever going to connect with you genuinely?
8. Your Partner Complains About Spending Time With Your Friends
They complain about spending time with your friends or doing things you want to do. If it’s a chore for them to do things that you like or be around people that you enjoy spending time with it is a clear sign that they don’t get you. These people are people who get you and understand you on some level.
If they can’t connect with them either it’s clear they don’t understand you.
Your friends represent all parts of you.
Doing things you like may not be something they specifically care to do, but it is a peek into the things that make you happy. Someone who understands you will understand how much those things count.
If you’re with someone who doesn’t get you or understand you, talk to them about it. Sometimes your partner does love you yet understanding you is something that will take an individual effort. Talk to your partner about how you feel. But if no attempt is made to follow your thoughts and emotions about things then don’t waste your breath. End things. There is someone out there who will not only get you but love every quirk about you that may not be easy to understand of others.
Do you notice any of the signs in your relationship? Let us know your tips and thoughts on the comments section below.
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