With the rise of living costs and the less time to spend for the spouse, couples are forced to move in before marriage. They share bills, responsibilities, and bed without the legal marriage certification. Compared to the past decades, live-in relationships are getting more common now. But does this help couples any better? Research shows that couples who moved in together before tieing the knot had around 33% more chances of divorce than those who moved in after marriage. So what does living together has to do with separation. This analogy has been a lengthy research to find out the connection between the two.
Surprisingly it turns out that, it is not living together that makes couple split after a while. It is the age when you commit that matters. People who commit after the age of 23 seem to have only 30% chances for separation, while those who engage in their late teens or early twenties have 60% chances for divorce. Sadly, divorce not only impacts the two people as a couple but also the children who suffer the adverse effects of it.
So, the later you commit to a serious relationship, lesser the chances for separation.
Live- in relationship or cohabitation is still considered a taboo in many cultures and religions across the world. Nowadays, many couples always opt for the trial run on their marriage regardless of what others might think about it. Such situation does not necessarily mean that the couple will eventually get married; it is merely the choice of the two individuals, whether to head down that road to marriage or live together.
The heartache of a broken relationship is terrible. Whether it is a divorce or separation from your live-in partner, it hurts. Testing the water before the dip may be ideal for the bath, but consider taking the same approach for the marriage depends on the two people involved. Here is a list of some pros and cons about being in a live-in relationship.
Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage?
Advantages of Being In Live-in relationship Before Marriage:
1. You get to learn more about each other
The main reason why couples like to live in before taking the plunge into marriage is to get acquainted with each other. It is good to know their habits, the quirks, and their expectations. It helps to adjust and love them when you get married. There is no surprise.
2. It’s a 50-50 partnership
A marriage is successful when you share the responsibilities. When you are trying the mock wedding, you need to learn to follow the collaboration here too. We must split responsibilities; be it a financial decision or household chores. In a live-in relationship, you do not take the partners for granted. Moreover, when you share the household bills, you can save enough for future. If you learn to share all the responsibilities before getting hitched; you would not have a problem later on. And would help build a healthy relationship.
3. It’s a mirror to the future
You don’t know a person genuinely unless you are married to them. A cohabitation situation can help you decide if both of you are ready for a lifelong commitment. This way you would get good indications of how it would be like to be married. Would there be the same kind of love? Or would you fight more often? When this kind of relation fails, it might sting for a while, but it is easier to walk away from this than a failed marriage.
4. Put your love and passion to test
Loving a person when you meet them for a while is different than when you live with them under the same roof. The habit you might find cute in the beginning might be annoying later on when you start living together. When you co-exist, the mystery gradually fades away. So the love and passion for one another will be tested in a live-in relationship. It is good to know if you, as a couple is really meant for marriage.
5. You can’t just walk away
When you get into a fight, you can’t just walk away. When you love together, you share the same bed and same house. With the shared responsibilities, you can’t just gather your things and walk away. You have to resolve the issue before going to bed. Learn to communicate, talk it out and by the time you are married; you would have made your relationship stronger.
There are always two sides of the coins. The coin is same though, but the opinion and perspective might be different. Let’s look at why you should not move in together.
Downsides of being a live-in relationship:
1. No excitement left
There is a charm of being newly married. You lose that charm if you have been living together. The ceremony seems like a formality. The element of surprise is no longer there. Some couples skip it and feel since they are already in the comfort zone, why bother to get married?
2. Your space is yours
Once you are married, you would never get your room. That space that you call your own. Why take the solitude away before you get hitched. You have lived in this room that you decorated according to your choice for quite some time. It is your world! Once you are married, you would either shift to another’s room or you welcome someone to yours. Your personal space would no longer be yours alone.
3. It gives you a way out
Once you are married, no matter how difficult the situation may be, you would try to work out the difference. Iron out the cresses. Every new relationship has its teething problems. But when you move in together before getting married even to test out your compatibility you would always have an escape route at the back of your mind.
4. You would lose your independence
Once you are married, you can apparently grow independently. But you would have to share a lot of things apart from the living space. Finances, interests, religious outlook, etc. would be shared. A live-in relationship sometimes puts a strain on your individual growth. You may be in love, but you might not be ready to share your full space and finances (at least not yet).
5. Do not rush into anything, leave some planning for post-wedding life
Once you have crossed the infatuation level, you know you are in love. You want to begin your life with your partner. But things can be taken at a slow pace, no need to rush it. One must enjoy every phase of being in love. It is a beautiful feeling, embrace it. Once you are married, you would have a lot of things to plan. Enjoy the wedding, and you would have a long time to get to know the person and shape your life.
There is no guarantee that you would get married once you have lived together and there is no surety what the future of your married life holds. How a couple would like to lead their life should be a decision that they take. What religion dictates and what the society thinks should not matter! It is your personal choice to live in or dive in. It should make you happy as an individual and as a couple.
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