I know it isn’t always easy to stand your ground. I have been in many situations when I should have stood up for myself and said what needed to be said and I did not. I remember thinking hours later of all of the things I could have said. If you’re an introverted and non-confrontational person, this is GOING to be difficult, and there is probably a big part of you trying to convince yourself that it isn’t worth the trouble. However, standing up for yourself and speaking your mind is essential. Why? You will know shortly!
Why Should You Speak Up For Yourself?
1. First, there’s respect
To establish yourself in any business or job and move forward, you have to gather people’s respect. Plus, respect for yourself plays a vital role in every decision you make.
2. Confidence and self-love
The more you stand up for yourself, the more likely you will be able to do it again because your confidence in yourself will grow. As that happens, your self-love grows as well.
3. Establish healthy relationships
You cannot have a healthy relationship with someone if you pretend like you always agree with them and never stand up for yourself. You will never feel satisfied in a relationship where your ideas and thoughts are never even so much as considered.
4. You teach people how to treat you
Friends or strangers, you set the tone for how people treat you in your life. One of the ways you do that is by speaking your mind. When people see that you’re the type of person who says what you feel and doesn’t let someone disrespecting you slide by, they treat as such. On the flip side, if you’re someone that merely allows people walk all over you without saying anything to defend yourself, then that is precisely what people are going to do.
5. It will come out eventually
The problem with NOT speaking up for yourself is that all of that bottled hurt and anger comes out one way or another. You can attempt to bottle it all in, but at some point, your cup will overflow, and you will either blow up or lash out, at others or yourself. I once reached a breaking point and threw an entire desk at a person because I didn’t want to confront certain situations.
Sometimes standing up for yourself can cause other people to get angry. A lot of people do not handle well when someone doesn’t agree with them or when someone stands up against them. However, what is important to remember is that as long as you are respectful in what you say, you have NO reason to feel sorry about it. Also, if someone cannot accept that you have an opinion different to theirs, they may not be someone you need in your life.
Now, for the HOW, here are some tips on how to speak up for yourself.
Tips on how to speak up for yourself
1. Allow yourself to feel and say what you think to yourself first
When you find yourself in a situation where you are uncomfortable, or you disagree with something that is happening right in front of you, acknowledge that to yourself. You should recognize any feelings that involve you being hurt or disrespected.
Don’t abandon your thought and emotions just because you don’t want to upset anyone else with your point of view. Honor your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself. How you feel matters.
2. Speak out loud to yourself first
Speaking your thoughts to yourself may seem a little crazy at first, but sometimes we need a little practice. Look at yourself in the mirror and practice expressing what you need respectfully. It helps to do that and envision the person you’re talking to is looking back at you. Prepare yourself for the response you could receive.
3. Stand your ground
Don’t allow your discomfort or awkwardness to force you to back down. You have to stand firm in your beliefs which is why the first two steps are essential, but even with all of the practice and self-realization, you will still feel the tension and nervousness when you are about to present your case no matter what case that may be.
The key is to REMEMBER why you are doing this and stand firm in your conviction. Be prepared to listen, but never allow anyone to mute your voice. You are worth more than that. Plant your feet and stand through your fears.
4. Lovingly disagree
Disagreeing with your friends is okay. In fact, it’s healthy sometimes to have respectful debates. We are all people, and we all have had different experiences which leads to different perspectives.
What is not okay is allowing yourself to get hostile towards another person just because you don’t agree with them. Make sure that your argument is coming from a place of love. You may not understand why someone spoke to you the way they did or why they would find it appropriate to do or say what you found disrespectful, but that is one of the critical reasons for speaking up. So, you should make sure that you don’t instigate an argument by coming at them with venom instead of just expressing your emotions. Be respectful. Be honest, but be gentle.
5. Know your worth
You are a person, and you have your views and feelings. Nobody can tell you what should or should not hurt your feelings and nobody can decide what YOUR boundaries are. If they cannot respect how you feel, understand that you are well within your rights to remove that person from your life.
Speaking up for yourself comes naturally to some people, but some people need a little bit of practice. However, we all deserve to have our voices heard no matter what the context. So, if you are struggling with standing up for yourself, I hope these tips work for you. What tips do you have for standing up for yourself that is not on this list? Do any of these tips help you? Comment below! It helps to hear your points of view!
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